The Speaker

“Speaker”

I met with Julius Philpot after he had finished speaking to a crowd of people. After asking him a few questions about how it feels to be a voice for others, he opened up to me about the importance of self reflection during a movement such as this one. He explained how he believes that people have to acknowledge the wrong doings within themselves in order to feel empathy for others and to understand others. It’s the only way to move forward in peace during a time such as this.

Interview Transcript:

Tyree: So, I know you spoke today, basically how does it feel to be speaking on behalf of our people?

J: Um for me it feels no different. This is not new to me, I’ve been doing this every single day. It’s just a matter of when people actually decided to show up and actually to listen, which is the only thing that’s different. Actually, understanding that people not only heard, but that they actually listened to the words that I was speaking. It wasn’t just about “hey black lives matter” it was just about everyone really uniting as a whole, but understanding that this stems because black lives have not been mattering, and that is our purpose why we are here today because of the injustices, the oppression that we go through. It’s just – it’s just so – it’s just really moving as I go home every single day and kind of unwind and unplug, knowing that I’ve made a difference yet again in another way. So I know everyone is not built for that, but I know that is something that I have followed for so long that I now know and that I am now comfortable doing. So, I just know I’m a man of words so --

T: yeah, the gift of gab

J: I try to use them.

T: How long have you been doing this? How long have you been speaking on black rights?

J: I have been speaking since – I’ve been speaking on issues since – I want to say like middle school.

T: Really?

J: And that’s just speaking out period. I have never been a person to just stand around and watch something happen so -- even if the issue is not particularly involved with this one, like I have always spoke up and spoke out. And I’ve been one person among many and they’ve all stopped and listened. And as that continuously happened, it only further told me like, hey I think you’re onto something, like this is what I think you should do. Um, and I’m just usually just another person. I don’t know any of these people. I am literally out here by myself and people are listening and so if that doesn’t tell you that the voice, the word is so powerful --That that is the weapon. It is a deadly weapon and it can infect people in so many ways that you don’t even understand, I don’t really know what will.

T: That’s incredible. So you say you’ve been doing this since middle school right?

J: Yes.

T: When was kind of the moment that you – like is this something that you’ve been dedicating your life to and when was that moment that you figured that out?

J: um, for me, I have always understood that as a black man, that sitting there, listening to the conversations of my grandfather – of him explaining to me that there’s things that I cannot do because I am black, or things that I cannot do because I have two strikes against me and not because I’ve been to jail but because of the color of my skin it is then – it’s just been an everyday battle. I’ve just – It’s been so long that I have been doing this and I just said like right now, it just feels so different when I speak. I have so many different experiences from being at a young age, and so many things I have prepped my mind for. The possibility of this might happen, I have prepared myself to making sure that people safe and actually really just doing my education, doing my research. I’ve just continued to stimulate my mind and that has only made me stronger as a person. As I continue to infect people with the word of just uniting together.

T: I love that.

J: It’s just – Like I don’t even know how to explain it. I’m a man of words but when it comes to me explaining that, I just don’t have any words –

T: That’s beautiful.

J: - For what I’m doing, I just – I have not cared. I have not cared to be the person that’s standing in front of something negative or unjust. I’ve just never been scared to step up and be run over because I knew, that even being run over that I was just going to stand up again. I was just not going to be knocked over and pushed around, and I was just tired of that. And I was just so tired of seeing other people pushed around. I’m just always there for everyone. It doesn’t matter about color. It just does not matter. And people want to make that an issue. I understand that exists, I know that I am black. There are white people – I understand that people have different privileges, I understand that people have different experiences, I understand that people are literally just barricaded or shielded for certain things. That means they have no education or no knowledge or no experience of what it feels like or to really see what’s going on. All they really have is the media portraying things or movies showcasing thugs or black people. It’s just so crazy and I just love to educate people on different levels, and not being afraid myself to be educated by someone else.

T: That’s so important. I think what’s so beautiful is that you are out here and you’re not afraid –I like that you’re leading this. Because I thinks something like this in a town of predominately non minorities that we have a black man that is leading this and that’s educating all of us, and that’s showing us these issues that we might not understand. But, because you have become the voice of so many, had that impacted you on a personal level? Do you feel stressed or do you feel the need to always be doing this for people?

J: Um, I definitely don’t feel like it’s a need to do this, I definitely feel like this is something that I want to do. I don’t want to say that it is stressful at all, because it is not. This is something that I feel like I was born to do. It doesn’t stress me out. I actually feel like it is a eustrous more than a distrous, if that makes sense.

T: that’s awesome.

J: Um, It’s just, I am at peace, knowing that people are coming to me asking questions because they’ve been pushed away from literally so many people. Because the questions they ask may have, you know, they may make you feel a certain way and other people like to bring tension to the question, therefore the answer never comes. The question is never asked again and they feel even more so quiet than before and still they don’t understand or no longer are they  educated on the same things that we are trying to preach. I feel like me, as a black man, I cannot be aggravated when somebody not of color comes to me and asks “why can you use the n-word and I can’t?” or “hey well, what does Black Lives Matter really mean?” or “why is not all lives matter?” It is not for me to reverse that and not be frustrated with that person. I have to understand that this who movement is about really trying to open people’s eyes, and to push them to use their voice. So who am I to tell somebody to be quiet or to quiet them? Or not give them the answers that they’ve been wanting to know, for maybe so long, for maybe since they were born? Because they have people trying to reiterate a different message. So who am I to try and quiet them? Somebody they felt comfortable coming to, to ask this question because they were hoping for a different result and you would tell them that answer. And that you would tell them “hey well, this is what you could do, this is how you can help. This is why it is not okay to say this or that. This is why you should not go up and just touch somebody of color’s hair, or make them feel uncomfortable. Or continue to make these jokes that are racially implemented or target a certain population or audience. Like to just not follow and to be your own person.” And I’m hoping that as people take that information, they continue to spread it… and then, they will realize that it is so hard to get people to listen because you’re going to have so many people turn the other cheek to say, “you know what? This is BS and I don’t believe it.” Because, they too have heard so many of the different things… But to not give up, to not just say “hey you know what? Alright.” Then you will just feel for just a second what it feels like to be black and try to educate somebody as to what we go through.

T: Right.

J: Don’t just get tired because they don’t want to hear it. That’s exactly what I go through on a daily basis. Because people still, are just hearing and not listening, as I say “racism still exists, that our black people are being murdered, that we don’t feel as if we matter.” And so, that’s why I’ve been, my message has just been “2020 is the year where I really hope that we see clearly that this really exists.” But even clearer I want you to see how much you have not done. Really take a time to look at yourself in the mirror and say “I haven’t done any of this.” And if you’re still saying “It’s time to take a stand.” That’s even telling me even more so that you’ve been sitting around this entire time, watching people walk past you try to do the right things while you sat and did nothing. You’re only confirming to me that you sat and did nothing. The same people you are upset with that just stood around and just watched George Floyd die, and you’re now upset.

T: Yes!

J: It’s just, there’s just so many similarities, but people are so afraid to call themselves out but are so, they’re just so eager to call somebody else out. Um, we really, this movement really starts with yourself. With you really looking in the mirror –

T: Love that.

J: With you really telling yourself “you know what? I messed up. I’m acknowledging that.” Because these are the same things you’re doing when you’re going to these police. You’re asking them these questions that you don’t ask yourself. You’re saying “You know I just don’t want you to say that you’re wrong.” But you don’t ask yourselves that, you don’t admit it to yourself.

T: I love that.

J: It’s just. I really want to be an eye opener for people individually, and then only then, after you’ve really mastered that beast within yourself, that person that has perpetuated these same things we are trying to get rid of – Then and only then could you say “I am whole as an individual. I can be a whole as a unity. We are a community. We are then one.” We have to understand ourselves.

T: You’re saying the change starts when them first, and then that is when it spreads to the masses?

J: Oh yes, as soon as everyone understands themselves, then you can really understand another person.

T: That’s so true. I love that! You are very powerful.

J: It’s been so long, and I feel like I’ve said so many things, and there are times when I really feel tired. But you know, I’ve had peers to the left and right of me like, “look, you have to keep doing this. You have to keep doing this. Like, what you said was just so moving that I don’t know why, but for some reason I’ve heard so many people say the same things and I really didn’t even listen. But for some reason, you weren’t even yelling at me, but I stopped everything I was doing because, it was echoing in my brain. And I’ve usually been able to tune out these echoes because this is nonsense and I don’t even care what they’re saying. It doesn’t even affect me.” Now people are seeing that it is affecting them too. It is affecting them. And that’s what I’ve been telling everyone, it’s not just black people dying, it is white people, it is latinos, Latinas, it is everyone is dying. Everyone. And when there is no more of us, best believe because it’s imbred in their system, that they are going to turn to them next and kill them. And they won’t have black people literally protesting. They will just at that point in time be like “What do I do now?” And they will then and then only then be like “oh well we should march or we should protest, and do it peacefully because –“ It’s too late. People can rewrite and create their own history right now if they truly believe it.

T: You are so right.

J: Don’t just show up to this believing it for now because it’s like going to church.

T: It is! I myself have questioned – not questioning why people are here, but it seems like some people come just for the theatrics of it. It’s like, you’re not understanding what we’re really going through and why we’re here.

J: It is so bad that you have to think that. You have to question, well why are you really here?

T: It’s so bad, and it makes you feel bad inside like “should I be questioning how people feel?”

J: Exactly, but you know what? We have come to that and I feel like because I have seen so many things and I’ve had to correct so many wrongs that I feel it is okay to think, for me to ask “why are you really here?” And not judge that person for their answer, but then say hey “Let me open your eyes a little more to explain why we are here.” And then can you think “hey you know what? Hey am I really here for the same thing?” You have to know yourself, and until you know yourself you won’t really know that deeper meaning for why you are here. And that’s why I say it starts with yourself.

T: That’s awesome, well thank you.