Gratitude

Has anyone ever gone through one of the most difficult moments of their life, and wondered why tf it was you who had to deal with so much turmoil? And then there’s just one day where everything comes to a head and it feels like EVERYTHING starts to go wrong? Well today was that day for me. Not only did I have to turn down an awesome opportunity the other day, but i’ve realized that I’ll have to turn down even more just to stay sane. There’s a part of me that’s felt like a failure, there’s a part of me that is anxious about having to cancel things that I was so excited for, and there’s a part of me that’s just straight up bummed that I don’t get to do the things that I was excited for. I keep sitting around wondering what if, what if, what if… and then to top it off, someone tried to steal my bike today and damaged it, ugh.

But I realized that I was so uneven, and I needed help returning even keel - so I called my brother. It was nice to just talk, and vent a little about how absurdly annoying the day and the week have gone. And I realized, I’m so damn grateful for my brother. And that one thought opened a floodgate of other gratuitous thoughts that just made me feel so much better. I felt like I just released. I had to remember that gratitude was the one way to recenter yourself in times of confusion and anxiety.

I have such a beautiful life.