Art, Community, and Chaos.
Now that quarantine is hopefully coming to an end, it seems like a great time to reflect on what we just went through, how it affected us, and how to move on. I actually started a draft of some words on April 4th, when things began to crash around me and I figured it’d be best to include it and reflect on what I had written. It begins in the next paragraph.
April 4th: I am going to shamelessly outline my new normal for the last couple of weeks. I wake up at two in the afternoon, shower, enjoy a “late breakfast” with my partner, and we casually talk about how we are going to navigate our future amidst this pandemic. I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel like I just can’t stop thinking about it. It has become a massive inconvenience in not only my financial life but my artistic life, and I’m frustrated, confused, and scared. I know we all are.
Something that I’ve begun to notice is that a unique sense of community is being built from what has felt like the biggest and most surprising punch in the gut. It’s been weird and almost therapeutic seeing people make something - anything out of a lot less than nothing. Here’s an example: there has been this ritual for the last couple of nights in my neighborhood where everyone starts howling out of their windows once the sun completely sets. It seems like a goofy thing to do, but to me it is a beautiful display of raw humanity. There is just something in us that only feels satiated with direct human contact, and being in isolation 24/7 seems like it is forcing people to connect on an emotional and almost primal level. Think about why wolves howl, according to Natgeo it’s to “find fellow pack members and maintain relationships.” It’s amazing that a collective and instinctual decision was made by hundreds of people who do not know one another, just to say “I’m still here.” That is a true testament to our resilience and human nature.
I also believe that it is a part of human nature to become creative in times of need. I’ve never lived through a pandemic before (obviously), but in any time of need creating has been a way out for so many people including myself. I will admit that the stress and anxiety that has accompanied this situation has made it hard to create lately. Some days I feel so unfocused and worried. There have been these weird quotes and memes going around saying things along the lines of “if you don’t do anything to better yourself during this pandemic you didn’t lack time, you lacked the will.” In my very humble opinion, that is straight bull. No one should feel any sense of guilt for not being able to concentrate on anything other than this absurd and confusing event. End Passage.
Now, nearly a full two months later we are at a standstill as a community. What is next? Is it really over? All I can say is: I don’t know. This has become a historical event that will ring bells for years to come, our new normal will be much different than our normal before this. We can expect to see that reflected in artworks, books, comedy, tv shows, writing and more. While the amount of changes feel overwhelming, a change that should be noted is the sense of community we’ve discovered.
The howling in my neighborhood has not stopped, it hasn’t even gotten close. A significant event that happened recently for me was one night when my partner and I were sitting on our couch, watching tv. We heard a loud pop outside that sounded very close, so we went to our bedroom window to check. Right outside of our window, someone had set professional grade fireworks off in the parking lot and left. We ended up having an entire show with front row seats from our window. It was beautiful. Afterwards, everyone in the neighborhood began to cheer and howl AGAIN. I felt so connected with people I had never even met, it was incredible. This stranger had pulled everyone together by setting off fireworks, and that in itself was an artwork. It was a beautiful display of community created by someone who didn’t want people to know they did it. Now that quarantine is coming to an end, I don’t believe the howling will stop. It wouldn’t feel right. Going back to a mundane job wouldn’t feel right. We’ve all gotten a peek into our mortality, and I know it is inspiring tons of people to connect with themselves and others.
Going through this has allowed me the confidence to quit my waitressing job. The night I did I went on a late night walk with my partner. He encouraged me to yell out loud that I quit my job, and I did. I yelled it at the universe “I QUIT MY JOB TODAY!” Immediately, someone we didn’t notice who was driving by yelled back “CONGRATS!” My managers were even happy for me, saying that pursuing my artwork was an amazing step - and I had just told them that I quit. It was really sobering to realize that we are all dealing with the same reality. This community we’ve created is allowing us to notice that. People who are choosing themselves after this are congratulated and people who are continuing to selflessly work for others and rebuild are commended and recognized. I am so excited to see how this new era of human acceptance will influence our future. This pandemic has been hard, but I believe we are coming out the other side of this with more strength, empathy, and creativity than ever before. April 4th me was uncertain and confused, May 28th me is excited and ready for what is next.
